Geeky Girl Gabbings

Yep, I updated my “art” website for the first time since, um, January. Check it out:

DelinquentDoodles.com

On a side random note, Firefly was an awesome show.

More Randomness, this is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever encountered on all the Internets.

Is my 15 minutes of Internets fame finally here?

Alls I did was post this “The Office” fanvideo to the tune of SexyBack at YouTube:

I told a few people on LiveJournal about it, the folks at both Life in the Office and OfficeTally posted it, and then the folks at the Best Week Ever posted it in their video section as well. That’s correct, Best Week Ever, the best satirical pop culture review show on tv!

A couple weeks ago, the outing of lonelygirl15’s videos on YouTube.com as fake overtook Oprah announcing she’s not gay as the non-news story of the year. If you’re just joining us, let me catch you up on lonelygirl15. I should also tell you that you may also want to stop eating that spinach.

Lonelygirl15 was a supposedly a home-schooled teenager named Bree who recorded vlogs without her parents knowing, and her buddy Daniel would edit them for her. That is if you want to call randomly speeding up and slowing down the video “editing.” But after some fishy details (like where the IP address was located) and someone recognizing Bree as an actress, it was revealed to be made up: Bree was actually 19-year-old New Zealand actress Jessica Rose, and the videos were actually scripted and produced by two aspiring filmakers. You may be thinking what I’m thinking, which is that this all barely qualifies as news.

This certainly isn’t the first time something billed as “reality” has been exposed to be as scripted as a Jerry Bruckheimer blockbuster. “Blair Witch Project” used night vision and shakey camera work to convince viewers people in the movie were encountering something weirld. Heck, even the drama on “Laguna Beach” was revealed to be mostly at the suggestion of the producers. Now when these things are revealed to be scripted, people get outraged. But why? It’s a perfect solution to the problem with “reality.” People love movies/tv shows/books that are based on or showing “true events,” (hence the initial success of ‘A Million Little Pieces’) but the problem is 95% of reality is boring.

Should we be mad when we find out these things are set up? Or should we be happy that a little scripting provides us with the entertainment. With all the reality stuff out there, maybe it’s nice to be reminded why we need writers and actors in the first place.

It’s summer, which means one thing: TV sucks. TV’s suck factor is usually pretty high, but during the summer it’s just off the charts. The only genre in play during the summer is reality, and TV viewers are being inundated right now with more talent shows than I can name. I ended up watching the premieres of two cable reality shows, Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels on A&E, and Flavor of Love 2 on VH1.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels

I don’t know about anyone else, but to me, Gene Simmons always has been the sleazy lead singer of one of the most awesomely mediocre bands of all time. Great image, great marketing, sure, but certainly not great music. I also remember Gene going on “The View” and talking about taking pictures of every woman he claims to have slept with and all the women watching, including me, being less than impressed.

Thankfully his show manages to downplay the sleazy and play-up the fact that he actually has a pretty cool family. Sure, he still goes to Vegas and and has drinks with scantily clad women 20 years younger than him, but he is protective of his daughter, brags constintly about his son, and goes to bed in god-awful red long-johns.

The stars of the show are Gene’s kids. His son Nick is freakishly tall, surprisingly funny, and if Gene has his way, will be a rock star in a few short years. Sophie is only 14 but acts much older than her age and knows how to put her father in his place. Watching the kids of the tongue guy from KISS act so, well, normal is the main appeal of this show, I think.

Flavor of Love 2

Watching this show leaves me with just one question: why? Why is there a second “Flavor of Love?” Why do all those women, even the skinny ones, wear clothes two sizes too small for them? Why are they competing for the love of this man?

And worst of all, why couldn’t I look away once I started watching?

At least one of those questions were answers: the girls are there for the exposure, pun intended. In fact, in the first round, some girls where eliminated because Flav was informed they were placed there by agents and had been on dating shows before. The show seems to focus very little on the girls interactions with Flav, and a bunch on them cat fighting with each other. Girls, do I really have to remind you who you’re fighting over?

3 words: Not Worth It.

The novelty of the show wears off pretty quick and the nauseating feeling you get from watching people who will do anything for fame sets in. However, there was a pretty funny/outrageous moment at the end of the premeire. Heavy-set Sumthin’ runs upstairs after the eliminations, and moments later a piece of poo is found on the stairs. That’s right, Sumthin’ pooed on a cable television reality show. Is this a sign of things to come? On this show, probably.

Mel, dude, what happened to you? You used to be like this hot leading man. You’re a little too old for me, but I can still appreciate that you were good looking and a decent actor.

Blue eyes, square jaw, faint Australian accent, you even sported a bit of a mullet but it looked good, you were Mel Gibson!

Now you’re trying to get the role of Saddam in the Iraqi War movie or something.

Oh yeah, and you’re turning into a nut! It’s not entirely your fault, being the son of a nut and all, but man, no better way to shoot yourself in the foot than to spout off some anti-Semetic remarks. “The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world”? What on earth would provoked that remark during a traffic stop? It’s like someone asking me if I want fries with my burger and me yelling “I hate Golf! Do you play golf? Golf coverage is responsible for all the bad television on the weekends!”

I agree with this woman I just saw on Scarborough Country, you’ll be in the doghouse for a year, then people will want to start making money off you again (but only if you put a little Grecian in your beard there.) Please note, this is the first and last time I will agree with anything said on Scarborough country.

Sincerely from not really a fan, but someone who doesn’t oject to seeing your movies once in a while,

Lauren

He sings like Adult Contemporary softy Michael McDonald, contorts like Joe Cocker, and has all the sex appeal of a young Jay Leno, America: Meet your American Idol!

Yeah, he was better than Katherine (I think she lost because of her wardrobe, she kept wearing beige, what was she thinking?) but still, Taylor? Gray haired Taylor Hicks? His last name is Hicks! There were several finalists that were better than him, Simon always said “You look like a drunk dad at a wedding” and still week after week the better candidates fell and Taylor was never even in the bottom three. How the hell did this guy pull it off? Is he possibly so mediocre that he in turn attracted the most votes?

In my opinion, Mandisa, Paris, Chris, and Elliott were all superior singers, but Mandisa was tossed after the country week, Paris despite good reviews was consistantly in the bottom 3 before finally getting the boot, the only guy worth his salt, Chris, was prematurely voted off, and Elliott, the master crooner, just missed the final. Katherine was pretty, she carried a decent tune within her range, and could have won if she had a tighter dress with buttons that could burst at any moment.

So here we are, stuck with seeing Taylor Hicks for the next year. How the hell are they gonna market this guy? He’s too old for TRL, he not country enough for the CMT crowd, and I really don’t want to see him try to sell me tee shirts with candy bar names on them. We’ll see. . .

Please don’t use the “Soul Patrol” angle.

Behold as I waste time at work . . .

So YouTube.com had become a new favorite site of mine, just because I search for something like “Pablo Fransisco” or “Dorama” and it usually delivers. They have episodes of South Park, and of the Korean Drama “Winter Sonata” (My new obsession.) It’s so sweet, go you tube, go!

Oh and I have 10,000 hits! Mostly due to the Man Beard. Thanks team!

I have to admit, this is the best time to watch American Idol, where they show all the crazies before they boil it down to just the boring people. While I wonder if Fox/American Idol people/whoever will ever admit to themselves that maybe after 4 seasons they’ve pretty much found the best that’s out there, but in the mean time showing the crazies will do.

And one girl just has stayed with me, Miss Crystal Parizanski. She was 16, had this completely indiscernible accent (like a valley girl, southerner, and drunk all rolled into one) and clearly has a 60% of getting a melanoma by the time she is 25 (translation: her skin was crispy). But when I saw her, the first thing I thought was, “Oh man, that weird Ganguro trend from Japan has finally made it’s way to the heartland.”

You can’t see it too well on the screen shot, but she really looked like a ganguro. I think it’s mostly the ice pink lipstick that got me. Anywho, she sings, and it wasn’t so much bad as it was just out of control. For some reason the judges let her bring in her mom, probably because they wanted to know as much as I did who was letting her daughter’s brain bake under the hot lights of a tanning bed and under the chemicals of a bleach job, and then my question was answered. The woman steps in with a classic “trying too hard” outfit: a backless black halter top and a jean shirt that with the right gust of wind would show everyone exactly where Crystal came from. Mom and daughter beg the judges in the same indiscernible accent, but for the sake of all of us, Crystal went home empty handed, and empty headed. Poor thing.

Okay, I’m pretty up on any celebrity mishaps, I usually make a point to watch things like Countdown with Keith Obermann and Best Week Ever, and yet I missed this little gem of a story. Perennial lame-o Tony Danza was filming himself on skates in the Christo “Gates” exhibition, when some well timed karma finally came back to him and he completely eats it as well as damaging an expensive-looking camera. This happened nearly a year ago, and I hadn’t heard anything about it until yesterday. How on earth did I not see this until now? We’ll never know . . .

Alright, the latest “oh my god, do these people really exist?” show that I always end up watching is “My Super Sweet Sixteen” on MTV. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about spoiled rotten rich little brats whose parents spend tens of thousands of dollars on their “sweet sixteen” party. I end up watching it because it’s on after something like “Made.” I like Made, Made is about geeks (a jock on occasion) who want to do something completely out of their realm of experience and they work hard at it. “My Super Sweet Sixteen” is about kids who don’t mind showing the world how shallow they are.Seriously, why does anyone want the camera on them while they bitch that they wanted a pony ice sculpture, not a damn swan, or that everyone at the party needs to wear red, but not the same tone of red as them? One girl even had a bunch of boys come in and take off their shirts so she could choose one guy as her date. She refrained from a chest squeeze a la Nicole Kidman in “Batman Forever,” so I was grateful for that.

You know what I got for my sweet sixteen? An 81 Buick Skylark with a vinyl top and a dinner at a Moroccan restaurant. That’s a sweet sixteen, damn it.